No shame in abused men seeking justice

Photo courtesy: Daily Nation

16 days of activism against gender-based violence ended on Wednesday, which was also International Human Rights Day. That horrific “initiation” gang rape in Meru reaffirmed how far we are from a society that keeps all women and girls dignified and safe. Less visible however, is how sexual violence and trauma that follows, affects Kenyan men and boys.

Sexual violence against males, while documented, remains largely underreported and invisible. Nearly 7 per cent of boys and men (15-54) have reported being sexually abused at least once. This year, the Nairobi County Government received and responded to over 500 incidents of men and boys in one county alone.

Economically disadvantaged Gen Z men, not minors, are greatest at risk. Like sexual violence against women, this violence is emotional, physical or sexual. Males are being forced to have intercourse or are being molested or raped by either women or other men. Sexual predators tend to be intimate partners, family members or people their victim’s trust.

Both men and boys are sexually assaulted for transactional sex, punishment, and sexual domination. While most may think this happens in prisons or in times of conflict, and it does, it is also happening in our homes, communities, places of worship, work and learning.

False but persistent cultural stereotypes “men always want sex, how can rape occur” and stigma “how can a man, the dominant sex, be taken against their will” combine to suppress incident reporting, accountability and healing. Survivors endure unnecessary trauma and social isolation. Most experience a profound sense of shame, panic attacks and some, even suicidal attacks. Fearing ostracization, their silence leaves male survivors largely invisible and unprotected. It also, enables perpetrators to escape accountability and go onto hurt others. In time, systems become ineffective in stopping these crimes.

Largely in response to sexual violence against women and girls, the constitution is clear on gender discrimination (Article 27) and the right to dignity and freedom from cruel or degrading treatment (Articles 28 and 29). The Sexual Offences Act (2024) and the Penal Code (Cap.63) identify rape and sexual assault as punishable crimes. The Protection Against Domestic Violence Act (2015) provides for protection orders for victims and persons at risk.

The national and several county governments and the judiciary have policies and guidelines for gender-based violence prevention and trauma informed responses. Police stations are required to have gender desks, one stop centres, emergency healthcare services, helplines and undertake community awareness.

Although most think these policies, resources and infrastructure are for women and girls only, they are not. In the eyes of the law, sexual crimes are gender neutral. All human beings regardless of their gender identity or their sexuality, deserve equal protection under the law. Penalties and punishment for perpetrators remains the same.

In this regard, Kenya is no different from the rest of the world. If male survivors chose to form a nation, it would rival the United States of America or ten Kenyas. However, fewer than half of affected males ever speak out, and those who do, often wait decades. Some are never believed.

The path to shortening the arc of justice and healing is not nuclear science, therefore. Male centred civic education, support groups and safe houses, strict enforcement of our gender-based violence laws and public advocacy by survivors and their allies will turn the tide. We need to smash the notion that violence only affects women and girls. Being assaulted carries no shame or stigma. Only perpetrator bear blame. and for this, they must face justice. The state must protect everyone regardless of their gender or sexuality.

 “His name is Eku” premiers in Huruma tomorrow. Hosted by Njihia Njoroge and the MetaMeta Men Ministry, the movie and panel explore male trauma and healing post sexual assault. More male centred conversations like this, are critical. Justice and healing is possible, and no-one needs to achieve both alone, when we have communities and a nation around us.

This opinion was also published in the Saturday Standard, 13 December 2025. Journalist Moraa Obiria articles on the impact and actions we can take are also worth reading.